The Definitive Christmas Music Rankings

We’re halfway through December and it’s finally snowed, so many of you are just now turning your music dials to Christmas music. Some of us non scrooges take these things seriously and have been listening all month (I started in November. Ok, October). In Utah you can listen via radio stations 105.1, 103.1, and 100.3. Or you can populate your own spotify or pandora playlists. But not all Christmas songs or song singers are created equal. Here is the definitive hierarchy of seasonal listening:

Steady Playlist Filler

You’ll get a heaping dose of this on the aforementioned radio stations. Workmanlike, lunchpail toting songs.

  • Mariah Carey – her 1994 hit All I Want For Christmas Is You is a bit frenetic, but has been the most played holiday song for two decades.
  • Debbie Gibson
  • Elvis
  • Frank Sinatra
  • Beach Boys
  • Amy Grant
  • Josh Groban – Great voice, not overly memorable songs though
  • Jackson 5 – Michael was a prodigy.
  • George Strait, Christmas Cookies – You know you want some
  • Barenaked Ladies – Canadian quirky
  • Kelly Clarkson

Christian Rock Band

I’m no expert in this genre overall, but there’s a few bands/albums that are quite good

  • Lauren Daigle, Light of the World
  • Reliant K
  • Casting Crowns – Their version of the very underrated “I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day” is exceptional
  • Mercy Me – I own their “The Christmas Sessions” and listen to it over and over again every year. I like every song on the album. They just came out with another Christmas album and while it’s not quite as good it’s got a few songs I’ve added to my playlist.

Dude, It’s Christmas, Don’t Be Creepy

  • Baby It’s Cold Outside
  • Santa Baby

If These Songs Are On Your Spotify Playlist Delete Your Account

  • Happy Xmas (War is Over) – Please join my sit in demanding this song never be played again.
  • Last Christmas
  • Text Me Merry Christmas – The most recent entry to this list. Maybe the dumbest.
  • Glee
  • Do They Know It’s Christmas – Nothing brings the Christmas spirit quite like a coddled, rich, 80’s rock star passive aggressive guilt trip.
  • Feliz Navidad – ay de mi, pero se repite
  • Sam Smith – just, no.

Harry Connick Jr > Michael Buble

Trans-Siberian Orchestra > Mannheim Steamroller

Horrible, Or Horribly Awesome?

  • Christmas Shoes – The standard bearer of horribly awesome
  • Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
  • I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas
  • Bruce Springsteen – Been practicin’ real hard so Santa brings him a new saxophone

Bing Crosby Division

The classics, from classic voices. They never get old, no matter how many times you listen.

  • Nat King Cole – Smooth. Might have the best version of every Christmas song
  • Andy Williams
  • Ella Fitzgerald
  • Gene Autry
  • The Carpenters
  • Burl Ives
  • Bing Crosby – Maybe the most golden of all golden voices. Legend, double threat. Watch him in White Christmas.

 

About author

Cameron Robinson
Cameron Robinson 10 posts

Cameron is a husband and father of five children. He's an accounting controller by trade who's been involved in politics for a decade.

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